The Internet is My Boyfriend Pt. 6
1. PEOPLE ARE SO AWESOME/SUCH ASSHOLES
My Internet Bible GAWKER posted a tale of two yuppies:
A friend and I actually walked into the most crowded Starbucks in New York City (the one directly south of the Winter Garden Theatre in Times Square) and ordered the following which is a legitimate drink order that they were obliged to make (AND I gave my initials as "BS" and she gave her initials as "EZ")
I ordered:
A grande extra hot soy with extra foam, split shot with a half squirt of sugar-free vanilla and a half squirt of sugar-free cinnamon, a half packet of splenda, oh and put that in a venti cup and fill up the "room" with extra whipped cream with carmel and chocolate sauce drizzled on top.
She ordered:
5 shot venti, 2/5th decaf, ristretto shot, 1 pump Vanilla, 1pump Hazelnut, breve,1 sugar in the raw, with whip, carmel drizzle on top, free poured, 4 pump mocha.
Scenarios like this are really challenging to me. First I laughed UNCONTROLLABLY out loud on my couch for like 3 minutes about this order. Then my Jewish guilt (aka moralilty) kicked in and I started to imagine the professional and private lives of those Starbucks employees. They don't deserve to be harassed by those pretentious, self-righteous turds who misdirected their hatred of the Starbucks corporation upon human beings who make $8.50/hr. Then I went back to UNCONTROLLABLY LAUGHING
2. HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THE NEW ANDY SAMBERG SNL SHORT STARRING THE OLSEN TWINS?
I know I'm tardy to this party but who cares? Samberg nails it at :26 and :42. Also, that's not Andy Samberg. Also also, here is my pre-emptive apology for creeping you out. This video is terrifying, but THAT'S WHAT YOUTUBE DOES. It terrifies.
3. LEGO MOVIE SCENES
Alex Eylar is a... no, the... Lego king. He has recreated some of the most famous movie scenes into stills (see The Exorcist and The Shining above). Oh and did you know there is a feature-length Lego film in the works? Can't wait.
(via Urlesque)
4. THE WTForever 21 BLOG
Even though we don't like to admit it, we all love Forever 21. Same for Hot Topic (no dice, Strawberry. You'll never gain our respect).
The title of this blog is pretty straightforward. The joke wizards at WTF FOREVER 21 scourge the retailer's online store and select items that render it's author(s) to beg the question, "WTF, Forever 21?" Here is a sampling:
Ye olde ugly shorts
Every once in a while, I’ll run across an item at Forever 21 so classic, so perfect, so elegantly wearable, I must have it, no matter the cost.
This is NOT one of those times.
Forever 21, Whateth the Fucketh?
via WTF Forever 21
5. ELLE'S AMAZING GALLERY OF WACKY OL' NICKI MINAJ'S MOST CRAYCRAYNANNERZ OUTFITS
via Elle.com
I LOVE THIS WOMAN. We did a MINAJANINJA GALLERY OF CRAZE ages ago but she's out-Lady Gaga'd Lady Gaga so many, many times since then.
If you aren't into Nicki for fashion reasons, you MIGHT wanna check out her INSANE Freddy Kruger verse at 3:17 from her extremely shallow yet somehow feel good song with Ludacris, 5-Star B*tch:
* must ignore lyrics, concept and message in this song to enjoy it otherwise you'll end up raging out about how unjust the world is toward women sometimes.
MAC is on NICKI for her "PINK FRIDAY" vibe!
If you can't stand the hip hops, then just know that she and the original OG female rapper who women most hated, Lil Kim, are in a big huge fight that Kim started. (Remember when we all got friend divorced over the life-long debate: Lil Kim vs. Foxy Brown? That was a thing). This is not drama that your mama would enjoy partaking in. No sir.
READ MORE: THE INTERNET IS MY BOYFRIEND
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